Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

3 Quick Tips for Dealing with the Stress of the Current Political Situation

We hear it from our clients and feel it in our own lives. The stress of the current divisiveness and violence in today’s political climate is seeping in to the well-being of many relationships and the health of many others.

Here are 3 things that you can do to help yourself now …

Get involved. Pick an issue that is important and find one way to get involved. Take a stand. Be clear, not attacking or defensive. Rather than feeling victimized by the large picture. Determine one issue, situation or person where you might have an impact and invest in it.

Take a break from the news. Don’t become “uninformed”, just find ways to keep it contained to certain times of your consciousness. Enjoy your family and friends. Get outside. Watch movies or comedies. You and your life are bigger than this situation.

Meditate. Look for peace and calm in your mind and in your heart. Don’t let this affect your health or your relationships.

We have survived other horrible times. We will survive this as well.

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August 16, 2017 Posted by | anxiety, conflict, Relationship Dilemmas, stress from political climate | Leave a comment

Depression and Exercise: Lace Up Those Walking Shoes!

Another article has been written about the benefits of aerobic exercise as an antidote for depression as well as highly beneficial for calming anxiety.

Have you ever noticed yourself and worry?  Certainly, taking a long walk or going for a run or bike ride can calm many a mind.  It has for me!

A friend, Jenny, recently was really struggling with a tough decision in her life.  Her struggle and her worry made her feel depressed.  The depression made it hard for her to even think clearly about what she needed to do with her dilemma.

Someone suggested to Jenny that she enroll in a spin class at their local gym and she did.  Jenny said that it was really hard for her to begin but she found that after a few minutes, she really liked it.

I ran into Jenny about 3 weeks after she began this 3 times a week class and found her to be a much different woman.  She was happier, stronger and moving forward on a very scary journey with an amazing return to her old self-confidence.

We are big proponents of exercise and encourage you to consider adding some to your life.

Want to read more about this?  Here is a link to the Time article.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

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June 21, 2010 Posted by | anxiety, depression, exercise and depression | Leave a comment

Research Shows A Significant Psychological Benefit To Helping Others

We all have heard that there are benefits to helping others.  Now a researcher has shown how effective it can be with her study of patients with Multiple Sclerosis.

Researcher Carolyn Schwartz has been interested in researching the positive benefits to the giver of contributing to others. She designed a research study involving patients with multiple sclerosis.  (“Altruism and Subjective Well-Being: Conceptual Model and Empirical Support,” in Post, Stephen (Ed.). (2007). Altruism and Health: Perspectives from Empirical Research. NY: Oxford University Press.)

In her study, she investigated whether being in a coping skills and educational group benefited patients more than receiving 15-minute monthly active listening phone calls from a person who also had M.S. She wanted to find out which was more effective in relieving symptoms.

Schwartz regularly met with the people who made the calls over the next year and couldn’t help noticing that the callers were doing much better than any of the experimental subjects.

The callers reported 4 times the benefit in areas of alertness, emotional health, feeling connected to others and personal communication.

These patients also were found to have 3 1/2 times more ability to cope with the stress associated with M. S.  They were also 8 times less likely to report depression or anxiety, even when measured 2 years after the study began as compared with the coping skills participants.

Schwartz was surprised by her findings.  She changed her focus and began to study the positive effects of altruism or helping others on subjective and physical well-being. She has conducted many studies and found the same thing, helping others helps the helper.  Giving help is more beneficial than receiving help.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

March 15, 2010 Posted by | anxiety, depression | Leave a comment

Is It Anxiety Or Worry?

Sandy worries about her marriage and that her husband may find someone else more interesting or attractive, even though there is absolutely no reason to think that.  Tina worries about her daughter and all of the possible problems that she might, and many that she might never, experience.  John constantly expects to be fired by his boss.

While these might be normal concerns for some people, for Sandy, Tina and John they are worries that often keep them awake at night or cloud their thinking during the day.

Anxiety, in its simplest form, is useful because it helps people prepare for real or imagined fears, losses or difficult times ahead.  When it becomes overwhelming, then it is time to think about doing something about it.  Consider the possibility of talking with your doctor, especially if you have any physiological symptoms.

Medication may be the first thing that many people think about; however, if the anxiety is not crippling (losing work, school or a lot of sleep) then learning some anxiety management techniques might make a big difference and provide the opportunity to manage the worry on your own.

Here are some suggestions for things that you can try yourself.

Educate yourself about anxiety
. There are quite a few good websites that have a lot of good information about anxiety, anxieties.com is one.  Recognizing that some of what you experience is normal is a step towards finding ways to caring for yourself.

0512-0706-2501-1822Slow down on any caffeine through coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.   These substances increase your heart rate and affect ability to remain calm.

Find a way to incorporate 30 minutes of aerobic exercise into your daily routine 5-6 days a week.  Research has shown many psychological benefits to raising and maintaining an elevated heart rate.

Practice deep breathing
.  Take slow, deep breaths and slowly let them out.  Notice the relaxation in your body as you do so.

Put your fears down on paper
and identify any that are irrational.  Write replacement thoughts that are more realistic.  Any time that you notice the irrational thought, change it to a more realistic one.

Shift your thinking from your body
and your worry to other things.  Take a walk, read a book, watch a movie, call a friend.

Develop some coping thoughts
that you can use when these thoughts intrude into your mind like “I have made it through tough times before and I can make it through this.”

Stay in the present as much as possible.  Pay attention to what you are seeing, hearing and smelling in the present.

Write in your Gratitude Journal every day.  Put down three things that you like and really appreciate about your life just that day … and what you did to make a difference.

Can we help you more?  Please contact us at Counseling Relationships Online.

April 2, 2009 Posted by | anxiety, worry | Leave a comment