Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

5 Questions for Couples to Deepen Intimacy and Connection

There are ways to deepen your connection in a relationship. Here are 5 to get you started.

  1. What is one secret wish that you have but have kept a secret from everyone but yourself?
  2. If your best friend were here and I asked her, what 3 qualities do you like most about you, what would he say?
  3. What frightens you?
  4. What really gets you excited?
  5. If you could have dinner with anyone at all, living or dead, who would you choose … and why?
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August 23, 2017 Posted by | conversation starters, couples, keeping love alive, Relationship Dilemmas | Leave a comment

Dating Advice: “Getting To Know You” Questions For Relationships

Dating is about having fun and getting to know different people.  Many also have an “end goal” in mind, to find someone special with whom to develop an intimate, loving and eventually permanent relationship.  This article offers dating advice for how to evaluate possible dates.

In dating, some think that they need to do a “sales job” to convince the other person that they are interesting, attractive and a good catch.  Our dating advice is that dating should not about finding someone who likes you nearly as much as it should be about finding someone who is a good fit for YOU.  This involves sharing about yourself but it also means finding out about the other person.

When you are just getting to know someone, it’s flattering to ask them a lot about themselves.  Most people love to talk about themselves so, sound dating advice is to refrain from pounding them with questions but feel free to ask away as you get to know them.

Your main goal at the beginning stage of any relationship is to find out if you have enough in common to explore a friendship with the possibility of deepening the relationship.  You also want to have some idea of whether or not this person is someone that you can trust and with whom you want to spend your valuable time.

Certainly, questions are not the only way to get to know someone.  Experiences and activities together can also give you lots of clues.   We have written an article on some good questions to ask yourself as well as to ask someone that you are getting to know.  Click here to read our article and learn more about suggestions for how to think about whether or not to pursue a dating relationship.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

October 28, 2009 Posted by | conversation starters, Dating, dating advice | Leave a comment

Seven Great Conversation Starters

Are you shy?
Worry about how to talk with someone that you do not know well?
Want to meet other people but the idea of attending an event, especially if you are alone, scares you?
Want to get to know that interesting looking man or woman but do not know how to go about beginning a conversations?

Here are some tips for good ways to start a conversation.

1.  Get to a gathering early so there will be fewer people there.   Look for one or two people who are alone and begin the conversation by sharing your thoughts about the gathering.  Ask the other person about what made him/her decide to attend, how he knows the host or hostess or what his connection is to the event.  Listen carefully and ask good follow-up questions.

2.  The weather is always a safe beginning.  You can follow it with one fact about your favorite season,  what you love to do in this weather or some other piece of information about yourself.  Then ask the other person to share one of his or her stories about the same question.

3.  At a networking or work-type of gathering?  If so, ask how the other person landed the job that they have.  Find out about the search and what made them attracted to that job.

These two know how to start a conversation!

4.  See someone interesting you would like to meet?  If this is someone who is totally unknown to you and you have no one that you might get to arrange an introduction or begin the conversation with something like “Aren’t you a friend of Eric’s?” you might try one of these opening statements.  “This may seem strange to you, a stranger coming up to you; however, you look like someone I would just like to meet.  Is that okay?”

Another possible opening statement might be “You look like you are having a good time … are bored … are uncomfortable.  Am I right?”  Then you can follow up with questions or empathic statements about your observation.  “What are you enjoying most about this party?”  “I get bored with these events, too.  What brings you here anyway?”
Or you might say something like “I really like your hairstyle, where do you have it cut?” or … “Great tie!  Is there a story about it?”

5.  Ask a silly question if the time is appropriate.  You might say, “I am taking a survey and would like to know … “who is your favorite Sesame Street Character and why?”  “Who was your favorite hero or musician as a teen?”

6.  Mention a current event.  Some people choose not to talk about controversial issues or events, rather look for an interesting news article that might stimulate some conversation.7.  The easiest and generally best way to begin a conversation is to remember that people generally like to talk about themselves.   Most also feel flattered if you seem interested in them and their lives so any question that you ask another about their lives, work or family will be flattering and take much of the conversational responsibility off your shoulders.


CounselingRelationshipsOnline.com

CouplesCounselingofLouisville.com

June 26, 2009 Posted by | communication, conversation starters, Dating, meeting someone to date | 1 Comment