Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

5 Ways to Renew Your Marriage

As the new year unfolds, consider these habits to use to revive and/or solidify your connection. It is so easy to take each other and your lives for granted, sometimes just holding down your head to get through it. That is never good for a relationship. While you don’t need to spend enormous amounts of energy on the relationship, here are some ideas to make the time that you are together count.

1. Develop rituals to use to come together at the end of the day.
Rituals used regularly connect people with each other. Finding ways to de-stress and de-brief helps fill in love map’s and supports the friendship and can aid in romance.

2. Focus on and acknowledge the positives.
The more that you talk about what you like, the more likely it is that your partner will repeat what is liked. The more you notice and acknowledge what is good about your partner, the more likely it is that you will even …maybe … come to like them even a little better.

3. Have weekly conversations about the state of the relationship.
No relationship is perfect. There are times that you need to talk about problems or complain. Choosing a time to have a “state of the marriage” conversation can be beneficial. A good way to set it up is to first talk about what you like and want more of and then to talk about what complaints or changes you need.

4. Plan weekly dates.
Get away from the every day, mundane activities, children and chores. Be sure to go somewhere different whenever you can. New experiences are good for bonding.

5. Know what is going on in your partner’s life.
Be curious and interested. Ask about their day. Listen to their stories and stresses.

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January 16, 2018 Posted by | couples, falling back in love, happy marriages, keeping love alive, Love, Relationship Dilemmas, showing love | Leave a comment

5 Questions for Couples to Deepen Intimacy and Connection

There are ways to deepen your connection in a relationship. Here are 5 to get you started.

  1. What is one secret wish that you have but have kept a secret from everyone but yourself?
  2. If your best friend were here and I asked her, what 3 qualities do you like most about you, what would he say?
  3. What frightens you?
  4. What really gets you excited?
  5. If you could have dinner with anyone at all, living or dead, who would you choose … and why?

August 23, 2017 Posted by | conversation starters, couples, keeping love alive, Relationship Dilemmas | Leave a comment

Couples Therapy: Can It Help?

  • Problems in your marriage?
  • Unhappy with where things are right now between you and your partner?
  • Wonder if couples therapy might make a difference?

What do you have to lose?  Facing up to the situation and owning your part in it can be a step in the right direction.

remember_when_image042Most couples wait a long time after a problem develops before they ever ask for help.  Research shows that problems may go on for 6 years before a couple either asks for help or ends the marriage.

The longer that a problem goes on, the more likely it is that positive feelings and behaviors will erode and disappear.  Couples therapy may be able to help you resolve the problems that you are experiencing.

A skilled and knowledgeable couples therapist can provide a safe haven to talk about the hardest of issues and can teach you the skills to be able to carry on those conversations at home.

Good marriage counselors do not want their couples to hang around forever.  They want them to be able to be successful on their own.

Here are some good reasons to see a couples therapist.

Click here to read the article “Couples Therapy: Can It Help?”

May 13, 2013 Posted by | arguments, conflict, couples, Emotionally intelligent in relationships, falling back in love, keeping love alive | 1 Comment

Jobs, Children and Marriage: 10 Ways to Keep Love Alive

During the early years of marriage, couples focus on building a nest, settling into careers and having children.

It is too easy, after the knot is tied, to focus less on the relationship and more on the job or the children which is why the divorce rate is so high for this time in a couple‘s life.  It is not that spouses love each other less, it is more because they find themselves drawn in other directions and away from each other.

Things can erode before anyone recognizes what happens.  Neither spouse is usually the “bad one”.  The distancing usually just happens as life evolves.

As couples grow apart by failing to nurture the marriage, they open themselves up for one or both to become unhappy and lonely.  Problems don’t get resolved, fun dissipates and opportunities for affairs or enjoying the single life with friends and colleagues can become more interesting than what is happening at home.

Put away techology and focus on each other to protect your relationship.

We have 10 ways to keep the love alive and make your marriage a priority.

1.  Have a technology free-zone.
Cell phones, face book, video games … all are distractions for intimacy and have their own inherent problems.  Designate a period of time each day to put the technology away and enjoy each other and the relationship.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

November 19, 2012 Posted by | children, couples, falling back in love, keeping love alive, showing love | Leave a comment

Discover Seven Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner

I often meet with couples who complain about growing apart as the challenges of daily living lure them into routines that leave little time for focusing on the relationship.  This, coupled with the new and added stress of technology, invites people to be more involved with things other than their marriage.

Connecting with your partner is crucial to the stability of any marriage.  It doesn’t take a lot of time to fan the flames of the relationship.  In fact, research studies by John Gottman, PhD found that a simple 5 hours a week can make a difference in the quality of a couple’s relationship.

Here are 7 suggestions for ways to reconnect with your partner.

1.  Find some way to connect with each other, even if it is only briefly, before you begin your day.  Share a kiss and a bit about the plan for your day.  If possible, have breakfast together, even if the children are rushing around with you.  Spoon a few minutes before getting out of bed in the morning and make sure that you are not always the small spoon.

Click here to read the rest of the article “Discover 7 Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner”.

June 27, 2012 Posted by | advice, couples, falling back in love, happy marriages, keeping love alive, Love, marriage | Leave a comment

4 Tips for Keeping The Love Alive

1.  Respect your partner. Treat him or her with respect at all times, even if you disagree or are bothered by a behavior.  Do your best to put it all in perspective.

2.  Maintain the friendship. Talk and act in the same ways that you do with your best friend.

3.  Be open and honest. Do not keep secrets.  This does not mean that you share all of your complaints or negative thoughts with your partner.  You want to learn how to let go of the smaller things.  When you complain, do it softly!

4.  Be positive, be positive, be positive.  Research shows that when couples have 20 positives for every one negative during good times and 5:1 during conflict, they sail through the tough times.

What do you think about our ideas?  Any to share with us?

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

April 28, 2010 Posted by | couples, keeping love alive, Relationship Dilemmas | Leave a comment

Tip Number 3: Being A Better Half Includes Taking Care of Yourself.

3.  Take good care of yourself … your health and your appearance.  Showers, clean clothes, attention paid to your grooming and maintaining a healthy diet show respect for yourself and are also a way to say to your spouse “it is important for me to look good for you.”

Decide one simple thing that you can do for yourself today that will say “my health and my appearance are important to me.  Being healthy and showing that I care about my appearance is one way to say ‘I love you‘.”

Counseling Relationships Online


Couples Counseling of Louisville

January 28, 2010 Posted by | Be A Better Spouse, couples, keeping love alive, marriage | Leave a comment

Eight Ways To Be A Better Half

We want to offer you eight suggestions to be a better spouse.  Marriages improve and stay healthier when even one person makes efforts.  You can try all of these ideas at once or just one at a time.  (It does take 6 weeks for something to become a habit, you know.)

We will share a different idea every day, along with a suggestion or two for how you might use them in your relationship.

Here is the tip for today.

1.   Appreciate the good things about your spouse and let him or her know about it frequently.

The more that you talk about what you like, the more you get what you like.  People are more likely to do more of what they are told is good than to change what they are told is wrong.

Besides, when you focus on what you like in your spouse, you are more likely to have positive feelings about them.

Try today to find 3 things to tell your partner, either with words or with your actions, that you like.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

January 25, 2010 Posted by | keeping love alive, marriage, Relationship Dilemmas, showing love | Leave a comment

Tip of the Week, December 28, 2009

This is the time for resolutions.  As you think about ways to improve your relationships, consider some of these possibilities:

Couples:
Resolve to spend 20 minutes a day … every day … with each other just talking about your life and your day.

Parents:
Resolve to visit your children’s rooms, go into their space, for 10 minutes every day and ask about their music, their friends, subjects of interest to them as people, not to you as a parent.


Those going through divorce or death of a spouse:

Resolve to build your friendship network with people of the same sex rather than rushing to find a new partner.


Everyone:

Practice random acts of kindness.

What resolutions have you made this year?

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

December 27, 2009 Posted by | couples, family communication, keeping love alive | Leave a comment

Tip of the Week, May 31, 2009

couples pictureRemember when … Look at a picture, watch a video, remember a happier time together.  Revisit all of the good memories and talk about what happened then … what each of you did to help make that a special time.  Dissect what you did and what you most appreciated about your partner and what he or she did that made that a special time.  As you notice softer, kinder and better feelings slowly come. Talk about how to keep them alive in the present.

May 31, 2009 Posted by | couples, keeping love alive, Love, showing love | Leave a comment