Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

Strategy Number 6: Beat the Holiday Blues by Honoring Rituals

Honor important old rituals and develop new ones. Rituals help promote a sense of well-being.  Old ones can provide a sense of continuity through times of transition while developing new ones aids in accommodating to new situations.

Evaluate which rituals you want to keep and consider developing any new ones that might mark the positive things about you or your life right now.

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December 22, 2010 Posted by | family holidays, Holiday blues, loneliness, rituals | Leave a comment

Strategy Number 4: Beat the Holiday Blues by Joining Others

Find a way to be around other people.  Look for groups through your community, neighborhood, church, synagogue or volunteer organization.

You don’t have to be with crowds and, unless you have family, probably not around others with family.

Look for opportunities to connect with others who might be in a situation similar to your own rather than with people who are bonded with others.

Look for others who emphasize the goodness about you rather than what is missing.

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December 16, 2010 Posted by | Holiday blues, holidays, loneliness | Leave a comment

Strategy Number 3: Beat the Holiday Blues by Doing for Others

Do something for others.  Putting your life’s situation in perspective can be helped by recognizing what others are experiencing.  While their situation may not even be as difficult as your own, focusing on someone else and taking the focus off of yourself can be an important mental health antidote for the holiday blues.  Besides, it feels good to help someone else and lift their own burden.

Bake cookies for neighbors.    Adopt a family from an angel tree.  Make some crafts and visit a nursing home.  Invite a niece or nephew to a holiday program.  Consider inviting those without family connections to your home for a holiday meal.

December 9, 2010 Posted by | depression, Holiday blues, holidays, loneliness, lonely | Leave a comment

Strategy Number 2: Beat the Holiday Blues by Setting Realistic Expectations

Have realistic expectations for yourself and your family.

Remember holidays of the past and do not expect this year to be much different.

Remember, you can work yourself into a pretzel trying to make them special, but you have no control over others in your family and they may never appreciate what you do for them.

You may fantasize about your hopes and dreams for the holidays, however, it may only BE hopes and dreams.

Be realistic about yourself and your family as you move into the holidays.  Look for small positive things and focus on them rather than what is missing.

Find ways to create meaning in these holidays for yourself but know that it may not mean the same for others.

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December 7, 2010 Posted by | family holidays, Holiday blues, loneliness, lonely | Leave a comment

Loneliness Affects Both Mind and Body

Sharon and Bill do not get along at all.  They rarely spend time together and, when they do, there is not a lot to talk about.

Jeannie lives alone and her job does not involve connecting with a lot of other people.  She recently said that she worries about who she would call if she became ill in the middle of the night.

Tim is divorced, does not have a lot of contact with his family and often finds himself alone on weekends.  To ease the pain, he may drink or smoke pot to cope with the loneliness.

Feeling alone does not always mean being alone but the effect is the same.  A lot of research has shown the effects of feeling alone or lonely on emotional and physical health.

People who feel lonely tend to have higher blood pressure and weaker immune systems according to a report by The University of Chicago’s Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience.

Lonely people also accumulate the negative affects of stress more than those who have friends or family in with whom they can confide or with whom they can spend time.

Some researchers have even said that loneliness can be as detrimental as smoking.  (Science Daily, 2.17.09,  Click here to read more of this article.)

Reaching out to others has a benefit both to the one who reaches as well as the one who receives.

Recognizing and growing relationships that may already be there can reduce the effects of alone time.

We would be interested in your comments about loneliness and what you have done to make a difference in your own life or in the life of another person.

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April 21, 2010 Posted by | depression, loneliness | Leave a comment