Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

Discover Seven Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner

I often meet with couples who complain about growing apart as the challenges of daily living lure them into routines that leave little time for focusing on the relationship.  This, coupled with the new and added stress of technology, invites people to be more involved with things other than their marriage.

Connecting with your partner is crucial to the stability of any marriage.  It doesn’t take a lot of time to fan the flames of the relationship.  In fact, research studies by John Gottman, PhD found that a simple 5 hours a week can make a difference in the quality of a couple’s relationship.

Here are 7 suggestions for ways to reconnect with your partner.

1.  Find some way to connect with each other, even if it is only briefly, before you begin your day.  Share a kiss and a bit about the plan for your day.  If possible, have breakfast together, even if the children are rushing around with you.  Spoon a few minutes before getting out of bed in the morning and make sure that you are not always the small spoon.

Click here to read the rest of the article “Discover 7 Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner”.

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June 27, 2012 Posted by | advice, couples, falling back in love, happy marriages, keeping love alive, Love, marriage | Leave a comment

Positivity in Relationships is Contagious

Heather was past the point of being upset with Bruce.  He never helped with children or housework, was constantly pressuring her for sex and ignored all of her requests for conversations about their relationship.

When people who are “past the point of being upset” enter counseling, then I know that someone is giving serious consideration about ending a marriage.  That was indeed the case with Heather.  She was there to talk over her options before leaving Bruce.

Heather agreed to try one more thing before leaving.  She agreed to focus only on the positive.  All of her nagging, negative comments, complaints and criticisms, she agreed to write down but never say.  She would look for and comment on any efforts that Bruce made in the right direction.

Click here to read the rest of this article.

 

January 17, 2012 Posted by | advice, Be A Better Spouse, happy marriages, marriage, positivity | 1 Comment

Tip of the Week, February 14, 2010

Try new things and new places on your date nights.

Recent research is showing that, while it is common for romantic love to diminish over time, novelty helps to stimulate those feelings.  While a change in patterns will not heal a seriously damaged relationship, it can help to re-ignite some of those feelings of fun, interest and excitement.

Take a drive down a different country road, go to a new restaurant, walk through a different park.  Listen to a new music group in a place that you have never been before.  Visit a gallery that you have never visited … be creative in your new experiences.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

February 14, 2010 Posted by | happy marriages, marriage | Leave a comment

8. Show Affection.

8.  Be affectionate. Signs of physical affection are very important in a marriage.  Some say “I was not born up that way.  It is not me”.  We say … change!  The more that you show love and affection to your spouse, the more both of you will feel love and affection.

We are not talking about heavy PDA here … just small ways to reach out and physically touch your spouse in loving ways.  Men usually want this every bit as much as women do.

Today, find 3 ways to reach out to your spouse and pay attention to what happens.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

We are very interested in your feedback on these ideas.  What do you do to be a good spouse?

February 2, 2010 Posted by | Be A Better Spouse, happy marriages, marriage | Leave a comment

7. Learn To Be A Good Listener

7.  Listen more than you talk. You do not always have to have an answer, input or “constructive feedback” when your spouse is talking about a problem.

It is not always about you when your spouse complains.  You may really not understand what she or he is saying or asking if your respond too quickly,

For today, vow that you will listen and ask questions more than you talk with your spouse.  Note the results.

Counseling Relationships Online
Couples Counseling of Louisville

February 1, 2010 Posted by | Be A Better Spouse, happy marriages, marriage | 1 Comment

6. Think And Act In Ways That Promote Partnership

6.  Think of your marriage as a partnership. Sometimes it may seem easier to make decisions on your own.

People sometimes make decisions alone because they know if they include their spouse, there will be a veto.

The repercussions of handling things independently often comes at a greater cost to the relationship.  While some couples might agree that one spouse is the leader in a certain area, like parenting, and can make many of the decisions, often it is good to “run things by” a spouse.

Review decisions that you have made on your own.  Think about the reasons that you chose to make them alone and assess the cost to your relationship.

Counseling Relationships Online
Couples Counseling of Louisville

January 31, 2010 Posted by | Be A Better Spouse, happy marriages, marriage | Leave a comment

The Obama Marriage

The New York Times will have an article about the Obama marriage in their Sunday magazine.  Here is the link to the article.

Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

October 29, 2009 Posted by | happy marriages, marriage | Leave a comment

Tips For A Happy Marriage

Happy marriages are made, they do not just happen.   Truly happy marriages require effort, energy and work.

Some people find easy mates and have the ability to naturally be a part of a happy marriage.  Most of us have to make a conscious decision to be an active partner in a happy marriage.

We have been working with couples for many years.  Here are some of the tips that we have learned from them as well as from our own reading and learning.

Seven tips for a happy marriage.

1.  Recognize that disagreements are normal and healthy.  Appreciate the fact that you are different people with different ideas, interests and needs.  Celebrate the differences.

2.  Become acquainted with your emotions and emotionality.  Recognize when you become upset, angry, hurt or disappointed and find ways to talk about those emotions with a calm and respectful tone.  If you are too upset to talk, take a break until you calm down and can think and talk clearly.

3.  Celebrate your emotions and emotionality, especially when they are positive.  Share your happiness, pleasure and appreciation with each other.  Research on healthy couples report a 5:1 ratio of positives to negatives.  (John Gottman, PhD).  When there are 5 positives for every one negative, then it is much easier to get through the difficult times.

4.  Share affection with each other many times a day, with your words, with your arms, with your lips and with your body.  Signs of affection are very important in a happy marriage.

5.  Talk with each other about what is happening in your life, in your job, in your family, with friends.  Share fears, hopes and dreams.  Let your partner be your best friend.

6.  Respect you partner. If you find that there is nothing to respect, talk with someone professional and objective; otherwise, talk and act in respectful ways.  Act as you want to be treated.

7.  Never take your spouse for granted or put your marriage on autopilot.

Counseling Relationships Online.com

Couples Counseling of Louisville. com

October 12, 2009 Posted by | happy marriages, Love | Leave a comment