Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

7 Habits of Successful Families

What a change 20 years has made in our lives!

Does it seem to you that life is more complicated than when you were growing up? Do you think that in many ways your parents had it easier? Certainly seems that way to me.

Not only has technology increased opportunities, both good and bad, but there are also a lot more complicated relationships in families as well as increased temptations for drugs, alcohol, and early sex. Bullying is another problem that is seen with increasing frequency in our schools and neighborhoods.

The changes in families and family structure are significant. What we used to think of as a “normal” or typical family (2 birth parents and 1 – 3 children) is no longer the “norm”. Today we have step-families (parents and grandparents), same sex couple families, adoptive families, bi-racial and multi-ethnic families, single parents, grandparents rearing grandchildren, and many others.

A beautiful act of kindnessParenting does not come with instructions, either, and it is often hard to figure out how to rear emotionally healthy and intelligent people, and yet this is an important skill required of parents even more today than in the future. Children have to learn how to think clearly and make healthy decisions for themselves. Successful families require a common sense and open approach to life and parenting.

A new book, “The Secrets of Happy Families”, by Bruce Feiler was recently reviewed on NPR and that story, along with my experience with many families over my years as a therapist, leads me to suggest 7 habits of successful families.

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Counseling Relationships Online. com

Couples Counseling of Louisville.com

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March 14, 2013 Posted by | children, family communication, Parenting advice, parents | Leave a comment

When Parents Disagree: Discover 8 Ways to Come Together

Sandy, at 13, is a master at finding her way around her parents’ rules.  She knows how to ask her mother for permission to stay over at a friend’s home or out late at night.  She knows to ask her dad for money for shopping or to take her to the mall.  While she also knows that her parents will get mad at each other or argue about these differences, she can always count on generally getting her way.

Jim and Jenny have a great deal of difficulty figuring out how to handle 9 year old Hannah and 14 year old Sam.  When Jenny is around, she usually handles things the way that she feels is right while Jim will be tougher, especially with Sam.   The differences in their styles is frustrating, sometimes maddening, for both of them and they really do not know how to manage these differences.

We have some advice for parents who disagree.  Here are a few things to keep in mind when working with your co-parent to help you navigate and gain confidence in your skills at parenting together.  These will probably have to be conscious steps to take in the beginning.  With ongoing success, they will get easier and may even become a habit.

Coming together when parents disagree.

1.  Recognize that differences are normal and most parents disagree at times. See the differences as just “a difference”, without a right or wrong.

Most couples who come together have different experiences as children.  Their own parents’ styles may have been different and each may have learned how to live a healthy and productive life in a different way.

Think of the problem as a puzzle, maybe a pretty complicated one, but one that requires “putting your heads together” to find a solution.

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Counseling Relationships Online

Couples Counseling of Louisville

Healing from Affairs

August 30, 2010 Posted by | Parenting advice, parents, Parents disagree | Leave a comment