Relationship Dilemma Remedies

A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

When Parents Disagree: Discover 8 Ways to Come Together

Sandy, at 13, is a master at finding her way around her parents’ rules.  She knows how to ask her mother for permission to stay over at a friend’s home or out late at night.  She knows to ask her dad for money for shopping or to take her to the mall.  While she also knows that her parents will get mad at each other or argue about these differences, she can always count on generally getting her way.

Jim and Jenny have a great deal of difficulty figuring out how to handle 9 year old Hannah and 14 year old Sam.  When Jenny is around, she usually handles things the way that she feels is right while Jim will be tougher, especially with Sam.   The differences in their styles is frustrating, sometimes maddening, for both of them and they really do not know how to manage these differences.

We have some advice for parents who disagree.  Here are a few things to keep in mind when working with your co-parent to help you navigate and gain confidence in your skills at parenting together.  These will probably have to be conscious steps to take in the beginning.  With ongoing success, they will get easier and may even become a habit.

Coming together when parents disagree.

1.  Recognize that differences are normal and most parents disagree at times. See the differences as just “a difference”, without a right or wrong.

Most couples who come together have different experiences as children.  Their own parents’ styles may have been different and each may have learned how to live a healthy and productive life in a different way.

Think of the problem as a puzzle, maybe a pretty complicated one, but one that requires “putting your heads together” to find a solution.

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August 30, 2010 Posted by | Parenting advice, parents, Parents disagree | Leave a comment